Home Warfare and Other Strategies
It is a mostly sunny Monday in the forecast and 12 degrees on the island. More cloud for tomorrow and then light rain for Wednesday. After that the sun prevails and with luck, maybe more seasonal temperatures.
At 8:31 I woke late but I appear to be the only one up.
The past couple of days, we have had a few difficulties agreeing on and sorting out our schedules. At one point, I even asked if they would like me to move out. Chaya jumped in immediately. "That is not an option", she shouted...indicating that whatever might happen I will have someone in my corner.
Last night I had more of the wee hours’ drama about the lymphoma beating me. I was having trouble breathing and swallowing but I am still kicking today.
Then at 8:53 Chaya came in with my coffee and so my day officially begins.
I am still having a bit of difficulty swallowing, so I am not exactly kicking ass just yet but there is a hopeful glow on the horizon. I see this tussle as an arm-wrestling match, which at stages I appear to be winning and/or losing.
It seems to me that if I persist in my quest to beat this illness at a certain point in time, the obstacles will melt away and the blockages clear. And I must not forget that the lymphoma may also be a blessing from God…it got me here to Saturna! Otherwise I might still be dodging cockroaches and bedbugs in my Harwood apartment?
I also fished out my new Metoprolol med [from Shoppers in Sidney] which I plan to start tomorrow as the old one [from Pharmasave in Vancouver] is finished today. I still have a few of the Felodipine left but will switch in a few days.
I am looking at the shadows from larger birds on the fir tree furthest [left] from me at window level…and just as I write this I see 3 hummingbirds appear on track for the feeder nearest my window.
Just when I doubt the truthfulness of that statement, I see another little hummingbird on the periphery of my vision appear to my left. I will check the feeder later today…or I may do as it could be best left to Chaya.
It also occurred to me last night that if things did take a turn for the worse I could just remain on island to die. It would surely be a happier ending than the emergency ward of Victoria General. It would be my very own version of Custer’s Last Stand.
It happened today. The stars were aligned so that Chaya and I had breakfast alone, and I was able to broach the subject of last night’s struggle to her.
I started by saying "I have something serious to discuss with you." She was all attention at that minute.
I said it as plain as I could…
"If things should take a turn for the worse I would prefer to die here rather than in a hospital room."
She took it very well. But she also said…"I may not have a choice. They may insist on taking you off the island to die. But I will fight tooth and nail to keep you here."
I let her know that I didn’t intend for her to have a struggle over it. I said "if you think I should go to hospice, you go ahead and okay it at the end. I will be alright with whatever you decide."
At 8:31 I woke late but I appear to be the only one up.
The past couple of days, we have had a few difficulties agreeing on and sorting out our schedules. At one point, I even asked if they would like me to move out. Chaya jumped in immediately. "That is not an option", she shouted...indicating that whatever might happen I will have someone in my corner.
Then at 8:53 Chaya came in with my coffee and so my day officially begins.
I am still having a bit of difficulty swallowing, so I am not exactly kicking ass just yet but there is a hopeful glow on the horizon. I see this tussle as an arm-wrestling match, which at stages I appear to be winning and/or losing.
It seems to me that if I persist in my quest to beat this illness at a certain point in time, the obstacles will melt away and the blockages clear. And I must not forget that the lymphoma may also be a blessing from God…it got me here to Saturna! Otherwise I might still be dodging cockroaches and bedbugs in my Harwood apartment?
I also fished out my new Metoprolol med [from Shoppers in Sidney] which I plan to start tomorrow as the old one [from Pharmasave in Vancouver] is finished today. I still have a few of the Felodipine left but will switch in a few days.
I am looking at the shadows from larger birds on the fir tree furthest [left] from me at window level…and just as I write this I see 3 hummingbirds appear on track for the feeder nearest my window.
Just when I doubt the truthfulness of that statement, I see another little hummingbird on the periphery of my vision appear to my left. I will check the feeder later today…or I may do as it could be best left to Chaya.
It also occurred to me last night that if things did take a turn for the worse I could just remain on island to die. It would surely be a happier ending than the emergency ward of Victoria General. It would be my very own version of Custer’s Last Stand.
It happened today. The stars were aligned so that Chaya and I had breakfast alone, and I was able to broach the subject of last night’s struggle to her.
I started by saying "I have something serious to discuss with you." She was all attention at that minute.
I said it as plain as I could…
"If things should take a turn for the worse I would prefer to die here rather than in a hospital room."
She took it very well. But she also said…"I may not have a choice. They may insist on taking you off the island to die. But I will fight tooth and nail to keep you here."
I let her know that I didn’t intend for her to have a struggle over it. I said "if you think I should go to hospice, you go ahead and okay it at the end. I will be alright with whatever you decide."
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